Thursday, October 20, 2016

I have made an important decision that so far I have been very good at sticking to. I want to reduce my time on facebook significantly and to use facebook with clear intention of inspiring and offering healing. I have been spending the last few months on facebook reading so much about factory farming and looking at the violent images and the unimaginable cruelty of the factory farms. And then I post to facebook. When I post I am so angry, so distraught and so emotionally drained from the violence and the suffering that I expose myself to. I am stopping with this. Stopping because I no longer want to suffer from anger. I no longer want to walk around in this world thinking that everyone is selfish and inconsiderate. I am tired. I want to return to compassion. I want to believe that people are kind. I want to inspire people to choose compassion. I don't want the anger or the blame anymore. I want peace. I need peace.

We lost Tammy Bergrstrom to Pudendal Neuralgia.  I painted this angel for her two children, Anna and Cole. Anna is 5 years old and Cole is 3. I will send this to Anna and to Cole sometime soon.
Painting the angel helped me process Tammy's loss. I am tired of losing people that I care about. It has been such a long and harrowing summer.

Project Angel seems to have come back to life at least in terms of what is expected of me. Being called to serve again has woken me from my depression. There seems that there is too much to do again. The fact that Abba is in the hospital suffering from psychotic depression is not an excuse to give up. Nothing is. Tardive Dyskenisia isn't. The despair I feel for the animals isn't. The fear and anxiety that I feel over all of my health challenges.....None of these can be excuses. There is too much work to do and too many of us continue to die from these conditions.

Mary Frances did a beautiful job on her short documentary about Project Angel.

And my short documentary on Sunny Meadow Sanctuary came out lovely as well.

The veggie festival is coming up this weekend and I look forward to that. On the 5th of November I will be exhibiting Project Angel at the Pudendal Neuralgia Association's medical conference. This is a great honor and a leap forward. Somehow Tammy will be with me there. We don't know yet if she committed suicide or if she died from a complication from the surgery. Either way PN kills. 

My angels are starting to make it into more and more clinics all around the country. Progress always feels slow to me but I still recognize it.


Tuesday, September 27, 2016

You can heal everything.

Each broken part of yourself.

Can be mended.

You have the power to heal yourself with acceptance.

With love.

With kindness.

With patience.

Each broken part can be mended.

This is your art now.

This is you now.

You can become the wound and the balm at once.

You can hold them both as you would a crying child and see the perfection in the holding itself.

You can hold your own suffering.

For as long as you need to.

You can hold it in the arms of your own healing.

              -Atara Schimmel

Monday, September 19, 2016

My greatest challenge is to keep my heart open to humans. I must practice compassion towards humans daily.
I believe that the greatest, most widespread, most dangerous and most violent delusion of our times is the delusion that it is our right to eat and thus dominate, use and destroy animals and nature. This delusion has pervaded every aspect of our lives. The victims of this delusion are so forcibly out-casted that we do not even recognize them as being our victims. We view them as ours to abuse, use, torture and torment and we take no moral responsibility for the suffering that we propagate. Instead we dine and delight over their tortured flesh with a sense of entitlement that turns us into nothing less than criminals and murderers. Those that dare to see and to speak their suffering are considered to be radicals and extremists instead of simply compassionate people that are spiritually attuned to suffering. So far have we fallen from our obligation and our responsibility to protect nature and its offspring that our violence and brutality are inevitably leading us to our own self-destruction and to the destruction of our planet. As spiritual beings we have compartmentalized and forfeited our morals and our ethics to such a degree that we are severed and divided in all aspects of our existence. Our spiritual depression begins with the terror that we feed upon and pervades every aspect of our daily lives from the shoes we wear to the car that we sit in, to the fuel that runs our cars and to the beds that we sleep in. Our intimacy is blocked and degraded by the delusion of separation and superiority that we feed ourselves. The tragedy is that we are blind to the cause of our own suffering and thus do not know the way to return to ourselves. By shutting out the suffering that we feed our spiritual and physical body with we have essentially shut down our own pathway towards healing and wholeness. We have created worlds of division and separation. We have severed ourselves from ourselves.

I believe that that the only way to rectify this suffering, this self-alienation and self-deprivation is by waking up to the truth of our inherent oneness. We must realize and embrace the ultimate truth that we are all one and that the suffering that we inflict upon life is always one and the same as our suffering. The pig or the cow or the chicken or the lamb or the fish that suffered and now lays dead on our plates is nothing less than a dead and tortured part of our own spiritual body. To think that we can be spiritually whole and healthy while inflicting suffering upon the one living body that we and all beings belong to is the delusion.

Thursday, September 1, 2016

When I finally gave in

And accepted that what I was creating was going to be ugly


of no aesthetic inspiration

I worked for hours on the same pieces

pieces of what?

of my life staring back at me?

begging me for acceptance?

for peace?

for forgiveness?

Patience. I begged for patience. I already had perseverance.

But patience. Patience for the ugly that was staring at me.

For the ugly that I could not transform.

For the ugly that I could not mold into something different.

For the ugly that doesn't sing or inspire or comfort.

But only begs to be accepted for what it is.

My 'art' stares up at me and I comfort the hours lost to obsession and repetition with a few words.

"The best directions, are inward."

"When you aren't sure where to turn to, turn inward."

"Beauty is born with patience and perseverance"

"Sometimes you will feel stuck in chaos. Remember that the stars were born in chaos."

The words offer a sort-of balm. I am still determined to come out with something from these hours of painting and scraping and gluing and painting and scraping and gluing.

I even tried to throw all the pieces of away. And then took them out of the garbage.

The pieces are still here. Still staring at me, asking me to redeem them.

And I am left with them, helpless, not knowing where to turn to.

All I have now are some directions.

I have the sea.

I am trying to sea inward.

All I found is that the sea is calling me.

And that it might be just about time to answer the calling.

The time for sea singing has come.



Sea process.



And more.

Letting go. Letting go. Letting go.

                                          - Atara Schimmel

Friday, July 29, 2016

May 18th

Pizza is really pussa. Ice-creme is puss-creme. Cows are mothers that have their babies stolen from them after 9 months of pregnancy. Then they are injected with hormones and antibiotics so that they will produce four times the amount of milk that they would naturally. And then we wonder why our culture is so violent to women? We are bred, fed, rocked to sleep with the milk that was stolen from a mother who had her baby stolen from her......... ....We are awakening. We no longer want to take part in our culture of violence and domination.  We want to return to our true selves. We are returning. One by one. And as we return we bring life back to where it belongs: The Sacred Center of Our Seeing and Feeling Hearts.  God/Goddess bless you on your journey of awakening.  I only wish that I had awakened sooner. 

June 17th

We support animal abuse with every one of our meals. We pet and cuddle our dogs and pay for cows, pigs and chickens to be tortured, maimed, confined and broken down. We tell ourselves that we love animals as we wipe the sides of our mouths that dribble with the remains of anguished animals. We have stolen everything from them, the grass, the sun, the air, their children. We have broken their spirits down, leaving them to bash their heads against the cold iron bars and the stinking cages that confine them. And we do all of this with such an air of entitlement as though it is our god-given right to do so. Shame? Guilt? Responsibility? We stifle all of this. After all everyone is doing it. I hate lunch time at MassArt. I hate witnessing people that I otherwise like fill their guts with tortured carcasses and stolen secretions as they talk about nothing that could be as relevant and as horrible as what is on their plates. Lunch time is a time of mourning for me. A time of alienation and isolation. A time to feel and be and suffer with the animals.

June 15th

When we lift the veils of our denial we are confronted with a truth so terrible and horrific that it shakes the very foundations of our being. Those that have been initiated are purified and given new eyes with which to see and understand all matters of this earthly world. As the blinders fall way we are liberated. With our liberation comes a deep and driven sense of responsibility to all living beings, animals and humans. Our every thought and action is motivated by the desire to untie the blindfolds, to release the shackles and to open the doors to the cages that confine, mangle and mutilate our spiritual evolution and our consciousness.

June 11th baby goose

The divine feminine communicates through the animals. She is compassion, intuition, connection and courage. She is within me and all around me and I am humbled by her generosity and by her beauty. She bestows me with gifts so precious and so tender that my heart breaks open in gratitude and my soul sings in awe. To serve her is my greatest prayer.

June 10th

I look into people's bodies and I can see the blockages. The blockages are so profoundly horrible that I cry from seeing them. I see people that have such incredible spiritual potential that are almost completely obstructing their potential by the consumption of terror, grief and violence. I weep for the loss of all of this spiritual potential. I weep for the loss of all of this beauty that is here for us but that we have lost access to. And then I meet a baby goose that comes to help me and I know how blessed I am.

June 10th

As we remove meat and dairy from our bodies we free ourselves from the vibrations of terror, grief and violence. A spiritual dimension that was formerly blocked to us begins to open. In this dimension the physical and the spiritual are experienced and recognized as one.The multi-dimensionality of time becomes evident.The physical as a manifestation of the spiritual is obvious. Did the goose find me? Or did I find the goose? Or were the goose and I always one?

June 26, Artist Deanna Yildiz created this for me after I posted the nasty comment that a woman from the Provincetown Community Facebook group sent to me. Yes, someone actually sent this to me as a message via facebook. Hatred of vegans. Hatred of animal rights activists.