So, here we are. It is me and the angels. We are getting to know each other and it is a beautiful journey. I can see my angels spreading their wings and I am ready to set them free. They are eager to fly, they are eager to do their work. I can hear them flapping their wings in gentle excitement. They know that they will succeed in their mission and they are ready to meet all of the beautiful people that are waiting for them to enter their lives. Their entrance into my life has brought me faith, love, hope, friendship and healing. I am eager to watch them fly into their life mission and to witness their beautiful and spiritual ways.
I can sense the spirit in everything that i do. Sometimes i feel as though i am no longer embodied, floating on a realm that is no longer physical. The pain and discomfort grounds me. What can I do other than accept this grounding. After all I am still here, living and breathing in this physical realm and my work is here.
I worked all of Shavuot, seeking pathways which I found. I bought the crystal quartz merkaba just in time for shavuot. What did I discover? That on Shavuot we read Ezekiel's vision of the merkaba. Somehow I wasn't surprised. This type of synchronicity is manifesting itself again and again, through all time.
On Friday, at Webster house, Sarah gave me a beautiful square-shaped piece of Labrodorite. I was mesmerized by its beauty and full of gratitude for having been given such a beautiful gift. I spent much of the day walking through JP admiring the stores and galleries, seeing my angels inhabiting them, soon. I went to Nahar Shalom for Kabbalat Shabbat and held onto my stone throughout the prayers. And I prayed with my heart and with my soul and felt my prayers being poured onto the women that I am praying for. I could feel my prayers enveloping them and I felt supported and welcomed by all of the souls that were praying alongside me.
I lost my stone. I hope that I forgot it in the bathroom and that it will return to me. When I came home and opened the book on crystals, guess what page the book opened up to? Yes, to labrodorite.
This is what I read : "Descended from galaxies and reflecting wizardry within, I'm the stone of internal connection. I link communication from the solar plexus to the brow, engaging you in new levels of contact with the Divine. Work with me with your eyes closed (which is how I prayed, eyes closed, feeling the women that i was praying for), as your body relaxes into its natural state. My energy allows safe access to wisdom, so you can travel to new dimensions; and my strength is bold, so be prepared to move quickly with increasing rhythms. Summon me when you are ready to journey beyond the confines of what is known, and when you are prepared to expand your consciousness."
I am prepared. I know that my mission is a mission of kindness and of compassion. I know that it is pure and of the light. I am ready to move with increasing rhythms and I am prepared to expand my consciousness.
In the past, fear held me back. I am no longer afraid. Living through Pudendal Neuralgia has left me with pin-point clarity. I know exactly why I am here. I know that I will fulfill my mission in this lifetime. I know that I am receiving and will continue to receive divine guidance.
Shavuot was powerful for me. The angels are everywhere. The animals are in my heart and they are part of this movement. The leaf-blowers and my exhausted and hurting body will only bring me closer and faster to the pathways of healing.
The crystals are a part of this pathway. They were from the very beginning when I lay on the floor of this room for hours each day, distracting myself from the pain with the beautiful gem-stones that made their way into earrings and necklaces that still inhabit my little room. I couldn't sell them. They meant too much to me. They were keeping me from going crazy from the pain.
The crystals are calling me to recognize and to accept their healing powers anew. They want to assist me on my healing journey. They know that I am and will continue to be called upon to help and to encourage healing. They know that I am ready to give guidance and assistance to the many people that will call upon me. I feel that I will be called upon for assistance by more and more women and men too. I need to protect myself and to empower myself so that I can do the god-given work that is my calling. I can and will take the crystals with me. Thank you crystals for sharing your light, your wisdom, your beauty and your power with me.
Power for me is the healing power. I will remain open to all possibilities. I will remain open to all of the wisdom and I will seek and find a new clarity.
I work the way that shamans work. I work through animals. I work through water and nature and trees. I work through leaves.
"Their leaves will not wither nor their fruit fail; they will yield new fruit every month because the water for them flows through the temple. Their fruit will serve for food and their leaves for healing. " Ezekiel, ch 47, vs. 12
I work through angels and sacred texts, through kabbalah, poetry and visions.
"Vayehi Ratzon Milfanecha Adonai, Elohay Avraham, yitzchak ve-yaakov, ha-el hagibor ve-hanora, el elyon, ehiyeh asher eyiheh, shekol hamalachim shehem mealaye tfilot yaviu tfilati lifnei kise kevodecha, veyatzigu otam lefanecha, baavur kol hatzadikim ve-hachasidim, hatmimim ve-hayesharim, ubeavor kvod shmecha hagadol vehanorah, ki atah shomea tefilot amecha yisrael berachamim. Bruch ata shomea tefillah."
I work through art, music, poetry. I work through the goddess. I am the divine feminine and I believe in you. I will always be with you. All you need to do is to call upon me for guidance and I will guide you. I am compassion, loving-kindness...I work through the animals...
My heart opened. Frostie did it. Somehow I understood through him and through Edgar's Mission that I was going to succeed because I finally let go of the anger and of the fear and I could see the compassion in most people's hearts. And I could see that all I needed was to touch that compassion, to lightly and gently awaken it from its slumber.
We are all eager to protect the animals from suffering. All I have to do is continue working through love. The pathways are opening. It was a special Shavuot. The Torah was clear and generous. My body was aching part of the time, my legs hurting. My soul crystal-clear.
I love you. Thank you for working with me despite your pain.
And that little female elf that has no offense but a strong defense backed by a powerful mystical force. I think that she is guiding me all the way to the public hearing and to the aldermen, all 24 of them.
Its like I have been initiated into a plane where the spiritual is exponentially more potent and all that I have to do is accept it and follow its guidance. The illusion of time and of cause and effect is almost funny. It isn't funny only because I know that so many of us are encapsulated in timelessness. Timeless suffering. And that my work needs to get done and that I am the only one that can do my work.
Bob Dylan: three full years, become comfortable with your 'becoming' and don't let anyone pin you down :)
I am not sure how I feel about the three full years but it does make sense, there is a lot of work that needs to be done and it will take time to manifest... three full years isn't that long considering that I get to watch the process as I create it. It is hopeful.
What about ego? I wouldn't worry about it too much. Being in touch with profound suffering distills the ego instantaneously.