Apparently I am learning something
Things are adding up
I understand this because I am beginning to grasp how much work I have ahead of me
This is a very good thing
I am devoted
I am committed
I just hope that my family members stay stable enough so that I can go on with my work

So, with the help of the short classes at New TV and the help from Ido I have got some focus and clarity and I know how to progress. I have a lot of transcribing to do and a lot of documentaries to watch. I have informed Abba that he is my apprentice and that we have a lot of work ahead of us. He, of course, complains about everything and anything that demands of him to part from his bed and to disentangle him from his devotion to Depression. He still has a good-enough brain thank god and if strategically courted he usually obliges to being helpful. Thank God because i would want to shoot myself in the head if I had to listen to and transcribe all the interviews, including myself, alone.

I have informed him that he will be joining me for three of the most basic classes at New TV: camera, audio and lighting. I hope that he won't make things too difficult with his typical resistance to anything that involves interacting with others. Now that Ima is on her way to Israel I feel an added responsibility to make sure that Abba function at least minimally. Taking him as my apprentice (we just laughed together when I informed him of his new position) may help us get through the next five weeks relatively unharmed. We should be okay. Hope I have.

So,

Happy Birthday
July 31st, 1974
You made it alive
Being pulled out of my cozy me into those sharp blazing lights and those strange noises was a terrifying shock
I was totally unprepared
There were no warnings

But, I like my Mom
So, I survived

And she clearly liked me
So,  I did okay

And then I met my Dad
And I liked him too
Especially his mustache

So, I figured that I will hang around

And, here I am

Still kickin (no kicking, absolutely no kicking for me, that is what got me in trouble in the first place with this PN mess)

Happy Birthday
Birthday Girl

I am here for you

Love,

Atara

legs spread open, knife each side, being holds ripped head high with hands upwards, head looking down horror at knives

do to

dark

light

white

black

do to

and wait


head in hands

hands hold head up high

hands dislodge head

head in horror

knives right

knives left

legs spread open

wide open

do to

do to

and wait


yes

can do

knife
each side
left
right
right
left
head in hands
looking down
horror
knives

do
what do to
to what do
do to what
want to do
do what want
do to

do to

found

do to

that is it

do to

do to

do to

wait

light vs. dark
the contrast
curl up into your arms
shield yourself
light
dark
only
you and them
left to express
what the remains are

where there is no other color
black white
dark light
white black
light dark

separate

then

wait

until

it

happens

and witness

it