Here is dear Dr. Echenberg!

It took a lot of work to get this video out. I was stubborn and persistent and only sent it out to the world once I felt that I did everything that I could do to make it the best possible. I got help from Michael, Steve and Andy and I have every intention of celebrating with them the birth of this little and mega-important video. I will continue sending it out to wider audiences through facebook and other channels. 

It was exciting to share my work with others. It feels good to know that I am reaching people. I am very grateful for NewTV, for the help that I get there and the opportunity I have to learn and to grow. I sure need a lot of that to gain some plasticity in my brain. I am working hard at winning back all of that dead white matter. 

Speaking of white, the snow is killing me. Even my PN pain has been sharper these past few days. I wonder if it is from all of the awkward ways that I position my body when I am painting/stamping/rubbing/scraping...the real things that doing my art means nowadays. My bedroom has turned into a studio. In other words I have given in to the mess, the constant chaos of supplies and papers and ideas in process everywhere.

One of my abstract paintings will be hanging at City Hall. I have to trudge through the castles of snow to deliver my piece tomorrow.

My art keeps me sane. It keeps me from sinking into the bottomless pit of depression and self-blame. I sometimes fall into the trap of blaming myself. Blaming myself for all the travelling I did in my younger years and the morbid diseases that my body was subjected to. Today for  the first time I thought that it would be healing to create a piece of art on this matter. Maybe a piece of art that celebrates my travels, my bravery, my curiosity.... to remind myself that I am not to blame. That none of this is my fault. That it is within my power to transform my suffering into a collective Healing. That the day will come that I will say for certain that all of this happened so that I could be a voice for the voiceless. It is a coping mechanism that works for me at least some of the time. I have to believe that my life didn't just get shot to hell for nothing. I have to believe that there is a greater good to all of this. I have to believe that I can and will and am creating this greater good.