Choose Hope

Lady of the day. Yesterday was an anxiety-ridden day. Today, I am going to actively choose hope rather than trepidation. I am scared of the sensitivity that I have to noise. I recently learnt that there is a chronic pain condition called Hyperacusis. 

My sensitivity to sound/noise seems to be increasing. I find myself covering my ears often when I walk. The sound of trucks and traffic make me want to dissappear into the desert. My ears are ringing. Even the sound of my computer while I write this feels invasive. 

My art saves me every day. Somehow, it gives me hope that there still is a place for me in this world. I come from a world where nature, not machines reign. That is the world that my body evolved from and within. And here I am today, in this 'modern' world that is made of loud and obnoxious machinery. Leaf-blowers. 

How do I choose hope when I fear that I cannot survive in this world? How do I choose hope when my body unravels daily? How do I choose hope in an active way TODAY.

My lady came to being with a very clear message. Today I can choose hope and today I will choose hope. Not by denying the fear but by embracing hopefulness. Hopefullness that my body will heal. Hopefullness that I will create and am creating a life of value and meaning. Hopefullness that I will be able to protect my body from harmful sounds. My lady helped me yesterday. 

I will protect myself from loud and invasive sounds. I will protect myself from loud and invasive sounds. I will protect you from loud and invasive sounds.

I need to protect myself from loud and invasive sounds. They are unnatural and they are dangerous. All of my senses and my body evolved over millions of years from nature. I honor that. My body is not a machine. It is sensitive and soft-spoken. 

I understand. The question is how do I successfully protect myself when everywhere I turn there is machinery, cars, trucks, planes overhead...?

I need a plan.