I want to write a bit about the good things that are coming together now. It started like this. A few weeks ago a fellow pain warrior posted a photo onto my timeline. There they were, the angels, Project Angel and my name. I was pleasantly surprised. Wendy Evered, a fellow activist and pain warrior wrote about Project Angel for the magazine PainPathways. I was excited and immediately thought that I would love to contribute my story and more of my art to the magazine. So, I called PainPathways and sent them some of my poetry, my six page story about surviving PN and I invited them to take a look at my website. Last week, Amy North, editor of PainPathways called me to tell me that they would like to publish my 'Faces of PN' on the Inspiration Page of the Sept. issue. Amy told me that September is Pain Awareness month and that it is also IC Awareness month. She didn't know if September had officially become Chronic Pelvic Pain Awareness month but she knew that there were CPP advocates that were trying to make that happen. Amy asked me to put together a resource list for people with CPP that would be put alongside my art. But it was more than that. She asked me to write a group e-mail to my resource list explaining that I was partnering with PainPathways to raise awareness about CPP and that I wanted to put them down as a resource.

And that is how my love affair began. I called the IC Network. Jill Osborne, founder and president of the IC Network answered the phone herself. This was a pleasant surprise. I told Jill about my partnership with PainPathways and that I would like to put the IC Network as a resource. I asked Jill if she knew if Sept. had officially been declared CPP awareness month. Once again I was pleasantly surprised when Jill told me that she was the one that was pushing hard to make this happen! When she told me that, I knew that I had reached the right place! I love when people get that it is about all of us together.

I was happy! Then I got even happier when Dr. Echenberg's name came up. I mentioned to Jill that I had created a short video of Dr. Echenberg and she immediately knew what video I was talking about. She had seen it! Then I mentioned Project Angel and Jill was very excited to discover that I was me :) She had been to my website a few weeks ago and loved the angels and their mission.
I was moved by her enthusiasm. She was genuinely excited to know that she was talking to me.

Now, you ask why all of this is so meaningful for me. Well, in the beginning I was sure that I had endometriosis. After the laparoscopy that came out clear I was sure that I had IC. I was already scheduled to have bladder installations. Last minute, I decided to have a hydrodistention. That was clear too. That is when I diagnosed myself with what I was really suffering from, PN. I had read about Jill and how IC happened to her. I was in profound suffering and grief but reading her story and seeing that she was leading a meaningful and inspired life despite IC gave me hope.

Jill asked me if she could write an article about me and about Project Angel for the IC magazine. She said that what I am doing can inspire other women. So there I was being asked by one of my hero's if she could write an article about me. Humbled, honored and excited. I felt that something beautiful and powerful had come full circle for me.

Then I called the National Vulvodynia Association. I spoke to Lisa Goldstein, executive director of the NVA. I told Lisa about PainPathways and that I would like to list the NVA as a resource. We spoke for a long time and at some point we started talking about the lack of education on CPP in medical school. This brought us to The American College of Obgyn (also known as ACOG).

 I have known for a very long time that someday somehow we (theCPP community) were going to have to reach them. I had no idea how this would happen. Dr. Stewart had talked about them in her interview when I asked what we (all of us survivors) could do to get CPP into the medical school curriculum. I think that she said that we could write letters to ACOG. It has been a long time since I watched the video. It has been ready for months but I have been waiting for Dr. Stewart to finish her website so that I could include it in the video.

Lisa Goldstein explained to me that we should find out what material ACOG does have about CPP so that we can know exactly what we want to ask for. She told me to speak with Katelin Phelps from ACOG. Katelin staffs the committee of The Dep't of Gynecologic Practice. I called ACOG and asked for her. I was angry and I immediately 'attacked her' with the devastating and enraging truth. How could this be happening? How can it be that millions of us are being told that we are crazy by gynecologists...that gynecologists are graduating med-school without ever having heard of PN, V, IC, PGAD...I was angry, very angry and she hung up on me.

I am planning to call her to apologize. It isn't her fault. But I couldn't see her. I just saw how ACOG was failing us miserably. I saw the thousands of gynecologists that were kicking us out of their offices with the 'its in your head'....I saw my suffering, our suffering....and the rage of all of that...is something that I will have to work harder at curbing.

I think that it is the rage that kept me from reaching this point sooner. But it is also the rage that fuels my passion and my drive and that has brought me to where we are today.

We are here. Jill Osborne, Lisa Goldstein, Dahri McFaline, Dr. Echenberg, Pat Onorato, Amy North, Katherine Clement and many many more. They all have so much experience and I am learning from them. They are helping me control my anger. They are teaching me. I am grateful to be in their company. Grateful that we have all made it here together. Grateful that together our voices will be heard!!!

Yes, I believe it.

Love,

Atara

And I bought my own domain. I am now officially ataraschimmel.com.

Progress is pretty.