Friday, April 1, 2016





This was me a few days ago. I was feeling so crushed, so discouraged, so helpless, so angry. I had just discovered what Dr. Vigna had written about ACOG. He wrote this over a year ago, long before I started petitioning ACOG, long before Project Angel and many others sent in our devastating personal testimonies, long before I received a HORRIBLY DISMISSIVE letter from Dr. Chris Zahn from ACOG, long before my conversations with Dr. Sandra Carson, vice president of ACOG. In other words what I discovered is that Dr. Hal Lawrence, Dr. Chris Zahn and Dr Sandra Carson have known for a very long time about the existence of Pudendal Neuralgia. They have known for a very long time that transvaginal mesh is causing Pudendal Neuralgia. They have known for a very long time about the need to educate doctors about Pudendal Neuralgia and yet they are continuing to play dumb in the face of our despair, our agony, our desperation.

These are Dr. Vigna's words:

First, as a physician I must say the medical community has failed in mobilizing to protect and treat these women. There has been an utter lack of leadership from the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologist. Simply by making a mandatory Continued Medical Education requirement for clinicians to participate in that describes the symptoms of pudendal neuralgia could have saved significant distress for women turned away by uneducated ears. To date I am unaware that American Medical Systems, JNJ, Boston Scientific, and Caldera informed their implanting surgeons of the symptoms of pudendal neuralgia which is clearly the most severe medical complication from both a properly placed mesh device or a malpositioned device which is an expected outcome of the flawed design.

Here is the link to his article: http://www.meshmedicaldevicenewsdesk.com/pudendal-neuralgia-and-pelvic-mesh-serious-injury-serious-decisions/


The despair that I felt was crushing. The apathy of an institution that is supposed to be helping us is devastating.

I am trying to regain my focus and my balance now. I have a very important genital/pelvic pain Awareness Exhibit coming up next week. It will be my third year raising awareness during Newton Open Studios and it will be my first year raising about the dangers of mesh. I want to be calm, peaceful, grateful and centered for the exhibit. I know that I will have many visitors and I want to enjoy the support and the appreciation that is being offered me.

How do I find balance? Always by returning to my creativity, to my curiosity... I have been wanting to create necklaces from opal mermaid tails. But I couldn't find opal mermaid tails. What I have found are opal whale tails. And though at first I resisted the whale tails because I wanted mermaid tails....The change came when I realized that maybe the whale tail was trying to tell me something. Maybe at this moment in time I didn't feel a connection to the whale because I just wanted a mermaid but maybe now was my moment to connect to the whale!

And so I searched for whale symbolism and came across the What's-Your-Sign.Com blog by Avia and this is what I found.

"Those who are magnetized by whale energy will tend to be incredibly deep in sensitivity. The depth of feeling whale-totem-people endure can be overwhelming. Whale people are super-perceptive about the feelings of those around them, and this can manifest into an internal pressure that can be quite crushing. The whale can help with overwhelment of feelings and even temper the onslaught of emotions picked up from other people too. If you are extraordinarily affected by the emotions of others, or your own emotions are so intense as to cause discomfort, your whale totem can help.
Why? Because whales are masters of:
  • Navigation: Moving through emotional depths
  • Communication: Effectively expressing emotional experiences
  • Conservation: Using emotional energy for fuel and not being consumed by emotional floods"
Here is the link to the blogpost: http://www.whats-your-sign.com/celtic-symbols.html

I have yet to read and explore more in depth what this all means to me. All I know is that I can't burn myself out. I can't keep on feeling crushed and desperate. I have to restore peace, equanimity, faith. At the same time I am determined to get Pudendal Neuralgia into the curricula. Now even more so then before. 

How do I make this happen without destroying myself in the process?

There is still a part of me that wants to believe that Dr. Sandra Carson really does want to help us. I don't want to burn my bridges, Dr. Carson can you hear me? Do you want to help us? Can you understand how important it is to create guidelines, educational objectives and curricula for Pudendal Neuralgia today?

Do you know of the 100,000 and more women that are being destroyed by transvaginal mesh for prolapses and urinary incontinence? And if you know and you have the power to change this are you working towards creating change? We need you. We need your help. Can you hear me?

Atara Schimmel


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