Dear Atara,
I spent yesterday at the beautiful Cemetery which is like a nature reserve in Newton. Jim took me there to do some B-role for the documentaries. Jim is great. He has a good eye and an artistic mind. I loved the day. I ended up staying at the cemetery until the evening because I met the most beautiful and sweet baby raccoon. I watched it for hours until we finally got comfortable with each other. I am not sure who trusted whom first. It is possible that I was more timid then necessary but I was also the one who made the first move!! Touching the little fur-ball was a bit of an ecstatic experience. Oh, feeling him allow me to touch him was exhilirating. It was like taking our love to the next level! I held the gorgeous fluff ball and he let me hold him. He even enjoyed the way that I touched him. When I massaged him underneath his little chin the way that I used to do to Siabonga, he picked his little head up further towards me. He liked it!!! Oh, I fell totally and completely in love. I was ready to adopt him only that coonie was not happy at all about my trying to get him into a box. No, he got pretty stressed out by that and he might have lost faith in me because after that he escaped up the tree and though I could still see a little ball of fur I knew that I would not be close enough to see his eyes that day.
So, I went home and read up on raccoons and learned that what I thought was most likely true. He was probably lost or abandoned. Racoons stay with their mother and litter for the first year of their life. He was all alone and at times looked quite distressed, especially when he was trying to move from one place to the next in order to drink some water from the pond. I went back today with some blueberries and cottage cheese and called and searched for him but he was nowhere in stght. At first I felt a sense of loss but then I accepted that I had reveled in delight one full day and that that is a blessing to be thankful for. And I lay down on the grass in the same place where I was yesterday and enjoyed the day. I just hope that either his mother found him or that he found a new haven nearby.
I will absolutely look for him again. I feel that that space is ours. The memory of him will forever be there, waiting for me. I saw a baby rabbit too, yesterday and today. And so many frogs that make a deep vibrating sound that penetrates the earth and my body. Nature. Nature. Nature heals. It heals. Nature heals.
My heart was aching from having to say goodbye to the man that I had spent the last two months with. I knew that we had to continue on our own paths but the separation was painful. And then Jim brought me to the Cemetery and my soul refilled itself and life beckoned me. And while I told Jim about Africa and about how nature speaks directly to the soul there I saw a tiny tail hanging down from a high branch and then I made out the tiny body of a baby racoon. The night before I had seen two adult raccoons and though my soul was heavy and my heart forlorn I cried out to them "You are so beautiful." Their peering eyes touched me deeply and I wished to myself to find a baby raccoon the way that I used to find baby kittens in Israel. And then the following day I met coonie. And he was as beautiful as any baby piece of fur could be. And though at first I was afraid him I learned that he was a very gentle creature and that he just wanted some warmth and comfort just like myself.
I was able to let go of Mark with the help of all that love in my heart that coonie brought out. I recognized how true and important it is to let things that need to end end so that life can continue its dialogue with us in all its fullness.
We got Him on Video!!! This documentary will be a beauty. I am starting to believe!!!