Dear Atara,
So, I am trying to calm down, to keep my frustrations at bay and to stay focused. I was ambushed with exhaustion yesterday and today. It is a heavy weight that leaves me in bed feeling guilty and useless. Adding the guilt and the feelings of being valueless sure help me. I did manage to make jewelry and this was one of the goals that I set for myself. I am making jewelry now with the hope of selling it so that I will be able to pay for private lessons in painting. I want to study privately with my water-coloring teacher and with my new acrylic/oil painting teacher. I have come to the understanding that I have potential and that it is time to invest more seriously in that potential so as to take my self a step further into expression and art. I can see the progress that I have made just in the few classes that I have taken till now and I want to continue progressing. So, I have to make some money so as to be able to take private classes with two amazing teachers and artists this summer. Encountering good teachers is a gift that I am taking seriously. Thank God I am physically able to paint. Thank God it is an art-form that is done standing upright! And missing out on learning from artists who inspire me would be foolishness. I have also met a wonderful jewelry teacher and I intend on continuing taking classes with her. Good teachers are blessings on one's path. And art helps me cope, helps me survive, helps me come face to face with my passions. So, I intend on going deeper, diving in and I hope that it will sustain me and bring me joy.
Partaking in the group therapy for artists that have suffered from trauma has helped me put My Art in the forefront of my mind. It has helped me understand the power and the gratitude that I have access to. And so I pray to continue to embrace it and to continue to reap insight and wisdom into the pathways to healing that it carves out for me to follow.

Love, Atara
Good Luck on your Journey