Doing something POSITIVE with all this PAIN

So, I see that I wrote the words positive and pain in the same sentence. That is an interesting notation. Yes, I am trying to create some positive healing spaces. Otherwise I would be unable to cope with the feelings of loss and grief. I have no choice but to create spaces of healing, support and self-expression. I mentioned that I am a Drama Therapist. My certification is from Israel and doesn't hold here. This is unfortunate for me because I absolutely loved my work as difficult as it was.

To put the pieces of my story together a bit more coherently for you: I moved to Israel when I was 17. I left my parents and my childhood life in Newton, Mass. I went to Jerusalem where my beloved grandmother lives. I lived in Israel until two years ago when I had to return to my parent's home because I was not getting diagnosed in Israel and I was overtaken by pain. Oh, this is a long story that I will get too later. (All the suffering of going from doctor to doctor and how miserably I was treated along the way.)

 IGNORANCE, does that sound like a familiar word to you??? Ignorance broken down to Ignore. Is that written in the doctor's text-book? If you don't know what is wrong with a patient then just Ignore them. Send them to the next doctor who will send them to the next doctor. Once again, time is precious for those suffering from Pudendal Neuralgia because the human can only take so much suffering before he/she.....But crying in doctors' offices only made them want to kick me out of their offices faster. Does this sound familiar to anyone??? Cuz I felt like I was going crazy, running to the emergency room only to be told that really, there is nothing wrong with me. Really? Do you say So? I understand that you cannot explain the Torture that I am experiencing, but can you take the time to explore, so that just maybe you could help me. Hello??? Hello???? Hello??? Is anybody out there? Can anybody hear me??? Please, please, somebody, someone, help me!!!!

And suddenly you note that people have begun to judge you for your suffering. They know that it is all in your head. 'She has been acting so strangely.'  'She really is being dramatic about this.'
Well, my intention was to write a bit about the workshops that I am creating and the support group that takes place at my parent's house. And about other ideas that I want to share with you. But I guess I needed to rant and rave. Catch you later, I have been sitting while writing this and you know who is unhappy. My sweet and sorry Pudendal Nerve. Sleep Well.