Gratitude

Tomorrow we will be having a mosaic workshop here! A spring fling with pots and plates, hammers, tiles, cement and grout! Yeah!! Sandi, Annette, Mary Francis and Augusta will be here joining me for the excitement. This is good and we are going to grow and evolve and.....life is good for the Goddess. There is so much gratitude in my heart. So many times during the day I feel blessed. I feel blessed by the flowers and the sun and the warmth and by my chubby little big-breasted body that is doing so much better than it was last year this time. Psychologically my state of mind is so much healthier. I no longer suffer from the terror of falling back into the pit of tortures. I feel confident in the pain control that my meds are giving me and I no longer have fears about being left without meds and having to kill myself. Thank God!!! I think about last year this time and I see so clearly how much progress we have made. The we is my body, my soul and my mind because really all of us have to be taken care of and all of us have worked so hard together to reach healing and wholeness again. It is true, it is not just a dream that we can be whole while we struggle with chronic pain or illness. I am whole. My spirit compensates for whatever my body struggles with. Lately I have been feeling lucky to be feeling so much gratitude. I know where I could be and I feel lucky for not being there anymore. I feel lucky for knowing and valuing life so profoundly. I see and recognize each flower. I feel the flowers in my soul. I take this Spring as the deepest of blessings. There is so much of life streaming in my veins, pumping through my heart and my creativity like the spring is blooming. The bulbs that I planted last year will soon enchant us with their beauty. I have seen a few cats outside. I miss cats. The sun on my face. The ability to walk. The ability to feel joy, to feel beauty, gratitude.....it is like waterfalls through my soul.

Thank you Life.

Thank you Life.

Thank you Spring Goddess for blessing me.

Thank you. Who, what do I thank for being given another chance at life???

Too many of my brothers and sisters are still where I was.

I never forget them. I never forget the pit that I came out of. I bask in life. 24/7 genital pain is basking in life! If this is not wholeness then what is?

Love,
Atara