There are so many of us that need prayers.

Today I met with the head of Newton Open Studios. She is kind and helpful and patient.
My exhibit.

This morning was horrible and so was yesterday morning. The hallucinations from the Cymbalta are becoming more intense. I am having auditory hallucinations too. And a lot of anxiety.

My brain is rejecting this drug. It is giving me very clear signals that it wants to have nothing to do with it anymore.

And my pain. Oh, my pain. I am left with you.

What do I do?

I went down to 20mg. It was only a few months ago that 20mg couldn't cover the horrible electrocutions that were leaving me unable to focus on a 2 minute phone conversation. I have no hopes that it will be any different now.

What do I do now?

What do I do next?

I wanted to go to Webster's to paint yesterday and today but the anxiety, the exhaustion, the disorientation from the hallucinations kept me captive.
At least I met with Ellen.

My art.

Thank God.

My faith that all of this is not for nothing and that I will yet make a difference, I will live out my destiny, I will .....

God damn it.