Oh, and another thing.

In case I forgot to mention.

I am in Pain.

I have been IN pain for two and a half years now.


And another stupid thing:
When i told a relative that i am in need of help and that i am alone and that i don't know where to turn...

She said these words of very deep wisdom
"We all die alone."

Isn't that Buddhist?

Too bad it was not said with compassion.

So, yes, i am angry. If i am truthful, many friends have disappointed me in their inability to stick by my side. And relatives have hurt me too, in their apathy and indifference.

And many doctors have shown me their inhuman side.

The baggage is heavy, most days i just let it sink to the bottom. I am too busy trying to stay afloat to feel all the hurt that is there for me to feel.

And like i said earlier,
those that stayed by my side

they are coming with me to heaven
S/He or no S/He