Yesterday I watched everything that we video-taped. I was strong yesterday. Today, I crashed. I stuck two opium and belladona suppositories into my vagina instead of into my rectus hematicus (sounds better than rectum) and then I got stoned. Oh great, and now it is 5:00 and I still have not taken my cymbalta and my lyrica today. The pain is again like a wild boar eating into me and I can't get control over it. I am so so so tired and I can't sleep cuz of the pain and the cymbalta and the exhaustion.......