I just returned from visiting my Abba. I covered his face with kisses and more kisses. It is hard to get myself going to visit him. But once I see him before me, my heart is so full of love for him that the sadness recedes and what remains is my desire to kiss him, to hold him, to hug him and to caress the lines of his face that have deepened these past two years. My father became an old man. Abba, I love you so much. You are the man that I love so much in this world. Sometimes I think that I was born for him, that our souls come from the same root-soul, that I came to this physical world in order to be near him and in order to love him, in order to be his very special pride and glory, his daughter. He always loved me that way, with so much pride and so much glory. My sweet father, how much beauty he saw in me and how much he loved to share his pride in me with others. 
And how these past three years wreaked havoc in our lives and how we misunderstood each other. And how much pain we carried as we lay crushed by the weight of our own and of each other's suffering and loss. Abba, I cover your face in kisses and I tell you how much I love you. And later you wonder out loud "You still love me. You have not forgotten me even though I have caused so much pain and suffering." And I tell him "Abba, that surprises you?" All I want is to be your little girl, to be your pride and your glory and to love you, to love you forever because you are my father and you raised me up as your crown. Abba, stay with me here so that I can grow with your eyes still upon me. Stay with me here so that I can watch your smile as I speak to you. Abba, stay with me here so that I can still, please, continue to be a daughter to a father like you, here. Let me cover your face with kisses and let me hold your hand in my own. Let me touch your face and tell you "Abba, you are so beautiful." Abba, stay. Stay for me, just because I still need you here. I still need you here with me.
Abba sleep well. I will visit you again in a few days. Now they know that I cannot sit for long so they brought me a reclining chair. So I will be able to stay with you for longer, holding your hand, knowing that I still am a girl with a father. A girl with a beautiful father.