It is hot!!

So, I know that I should be going to Dr. Hollis Potter to get the MRI of my pelvis done. But I cannot even get myself to make the phone call. The thought of a four-hour car-ride or a one-hour plane ride is unthinkable right now. I just cannot think this thought. It automatically means suffering to me. I cannot see past that right now. Like, that I could be getting important info. that might help me. I guess that the idea of surgery also scares me. And other than helping the surgeons I can't think of what the MRI would be useful for. Knowing where my nerve is damaged or entrapped would be good info. to have but....

I think that I should do it. Oh, God help me.
I am going to have to talk to myself a lot about this.
I also think that I am crazy that I know that marijuana is a good pain-killer for me and that I am not doing anything to get some. That is stupid.
There is a support group on facebook for us. I am going to check it out again.

Sending Love
Atara