Until I heard my mother's cry
I heard the pleading in her voice
I heard the desperation and the hope

Her cries echoed through the waters of pn lake to the next
And I could not pass to the other side

I knew in her voice that I would live
That I had no choice but to continue
The waters traveled in her vocal chords and touched the heart of me
And I separated from the journey that I had begun
And returned to the one that I had left behind

Into the turquoise eyes of my favorite beloved cat
wide and blue and only i knew, how tender
into the eyes of Liat's light green softness
and through my grandmother's hands
and her mother's arms
and then back
back
back
into my living mother's cry
back back back
into my body
back back back into
the months of agony
back back back
into the ambulance
and back
back
back
into the bed
the hospital
malaria
and back back back
into
opening my eyes
and back back back

into terror and anxiety and desperation

and back back back

the ways i have traveled
are not for the fearless
or the brave

the ways that i have traveled
are mine

only mine